


Open Up

by TheChichiSlaughterHouse



Category: One Piece
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Painfully Soft, Post-WCI, Relationship Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 01:48:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20166136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheChichiSlaughterHouse/pseuds/TheChichiSlaughterHouse
Summary: Sanji returns to the ship after the events of Whole Cake Island. Stressed by what he's been through, he expects his crew to be mad at him. Zoro especially. ZoroxSanji.AU-esque in that it diverges from canon.





	Open Up

**Author's Note:**

> Open Up
> 
> By The Chichi Slaughter House
> 
> Warnings: ZoroxSanji, WCI aftermath (yeah, again), soft hours, fluff.
> 
> Disclaimer: One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda.
> 
> Rating: G (shockingly)
> 
> Just something soft. Because why not?
> 
> Still working my way slowly through WCI so I’m probably gonna be on this shit for a while. I’d apologise but I’m not sorry. Also this is obviously not canon compliant so whatever. If you wanted strict adherence to canon you wouldn’t be here anyways.
> 
> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/slaughterchichi) | [Tumblr](http://slaughterchichi.tumblr.com) | [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.social/slaughterchichi) | [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/slaughterchichi)

Sanji hadn’t known what it was going to be like when he saw his crew again. Whether they’d be hurt or angry at him for leaving the way he had, for not talking it through with them before making his decision. He knew at some level they’d understand, that he’d be forgiven for it but it didn’t stop him feeling guilty nonetheless.

When he’d boarded the ship and seen their faces, relief had washed through him. Everyone seemed happy to have him back, welcoming him warmly. There’d been a few disgruntled comments but not any accusations or guilt-tripping from anyone. If he was honest with himself, Sanji didn’t feel he deserved this, was waiting for someone to rip into him like they had every right to do.

In Water Seven when Usopp had left, he’d had to give an apology before they welcomed him back in. Zoro had made it clear to everyone at the time that he’d accept no less, that what Usopp had done was unforgivable unless he knew his place and made amends first. Sanji had agreed with him then, backing him up even as Nami, Chopper and Luffy had been disgruntled. What the swordsman had said had been right: leaving the crew should not be something that simple, something that easily overlooked.

To some degree he expected the same treatment from Zoro now. To be yelled at and told he couldn’t just do things like that without dealing with the consequences. In some way he was actually hoping for it, wanting some way to alleviate the guilt without making it weird for everyone else out of the blue. If anyone was going to call him out on it, surely it would be Zoro.

But even as the others grabbed onto him and told him how happy they were that he was safe, the swordsman said nothing. Just hung around in the background like he didn’t really care one way or the other, though Sanji knew he was probably the most affected by his choice in the first place.

Instead of being washed away, Sanji’s guilt doubled.

The happiness of the crew felt heavy on Sanji’s shoulders. He just smiled and thanked them for their concern despite his urge to apologise threatening to overrun him at any second. Sanji found it difficult to believe no one was mad – Nami had already told him she wouldn’t forgive him, but it honestly didn’t feel like enough. Didn’t feel like it ever would be.

Sanji wondered how long she’d take to finally make it clear, say the things she was feeling. He wouldn’t feel relieved until she did and honestly needed to hear it now. He knew what he’d done was wrong – someone had to berate him before he went insane.

That wasn’t to say that he wasn’t thankful for their tact, for their understanding – he was, truly – but even so, it felt more like a burden to be forgiven than it would have if they’d yelled.

He hadn’t even been able to apologise for kicking the shit out of Luffy. Their Captain didn’t think it was a big deal at all.

After many hugs and ruffles of his hair, the rest of the crew dispersed to their usual places on the ship to get things ready for later. The only ones left on the deck were Sanji and the swordsman.

Now that they’d left, Zoro finally looked over at him. Sanji held his gaze, anticipation thick in his gut as he waited for the argument that would surely unfold. The tongue-lashing – and perhaps fight – that he was hoping for. That he felt he needed in order to be able to actually move on and feel comfortable again.

Zoro had a hand on the back of his head as he strode over, teeth grit as he scratched at his hair. Sanji swallowed the lump in his throat, his hands fidgeting by his sides before he stuffed them into his pockets. He didn’t want to let his anxiety show just in case it put the swordsman off. Didn’t want to make it difficult for him to express himself.

Zoro just stood in front of him, not really saying or doing anything as he stared at Sanji. The cook panicked slightly, wondering if he was supposed to be the one that started it this time. Sanji didn’t know whether Zoro was looking for an apology off the bat or whether he should just pretend nothing had happened until Zoro lost his temper.

Unable to take the silence, Sanji opened his mouth to speak. His voice was shaky and a little high pitched as he fumbled for the right words in his head.

“Listen, I—”

“I understand.” Zoro cut him off before he could even figure it out. The calm tone just wound Sanji up more, made him feel even worse. No—he wasn’t supposed to say that! Where was the anger? The agitation and frustration that he was sure Zoro had been feeling this whole time? He’d run off to be married to someone else, hadn’t said a damn word about it. Even though they— “I can’t be mad at you for this.”

A sinking feeling in Sanji’s gut made him tense all over. This wasn’t what he wanted. Why couldn’t the swordsman just act how he expected him to? He’d thought Zoro knew him well enough by now to sense his feelings, give him what he needed.

“But still, I—”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Zoro stared him down, his tone firm and posture steady. Leaving no room for argument. No space for Sanji to squeeze into and say what he felt he should. “Stop beating yourself up over it. How can I possibly berate you when I can tell you’ve been doing it to yourself this whole time?”

Sanji lowered his gaze, uncomfortable to his very bones. He knew Zoro was right – kicking someone when they were down was not the swordsman’s style at any rate. Though he’d been counting on it, some part of him wished Zoro couldn’t read him like this. Perhaps then he’d have gotten what he was looking for.

“Then what am I supposed to do?!” Frustrated, Sanji grit his own teeth and lashed out. Gesturing wildly with his arms and almost stomping his foot against the deck to try and relieve some of the tension that had built up in him.

“Talk to me.”

Sanji froze in place, looked back up to stare Zoro in the eye. He didn’t know if he’d misheard him. The expression on Zoro’s face told him he hadn’t.

“Talk to you about what?” Incredulous, Sanji just allowed himself to let his confusion show. Zoro looked at him calmly, unphased by his outbursts. The swordsman took an extra step forward, almost chest to chest with the cook.

“I wanna know more about you,” Zoro rested his hand on Sanji’s cheek. “Won’t you tell me?”

Sanji was quiet, watching Zoro with caution. This wasn’t something they did in the crew - tell each other things. To some extent they knew a bit about each other’s pasts but that was only what had been necessary at the time. When you were a Strawhat you were evaluated and loved based on who you were, not what had happened to you. That was what had been his saving grace this entire time, what had allowed him to just live freely.

The fact that Zoro was asking now, of all times, made him uncomfortable.

“What’s there to say?” Sanji pushed Zoro’s hand away and turned to light a cigarette. “Had a shitty family, became a cook. Now I’m here.”

As he brought the lighter to his lips, he felt Zoro wrap his arms around his waist, resting his chin on Sanji’s shoulder.

“I know that,” Zoro was quiet, sighing as he squeezed Sanji gently. “I mean more detail than that.”

“What for?” Sanji scoffed, tempted to blow the smoke in Zoro’s face just to piss him off. Why he was being so insistent was beyond him, was frustrating. Sanji had made it clear he didn’t want to discuss it.

There was a pause. Zoro sighed again and turned his face towards Sanji’s neck.

“I realised that I never want to feel like this again. Don’t want you to keep secrets from me.” Sanji felt guilt in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t supposed to have been a secret; he just didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t even want to think about it if he could help it. “If I know everything I can be better prepared next time.”

Sanji’s shoulders sagged. To a degree he recognised the wisdom in Zoro’s words. If the crew had known about his past before then he might not have gotten in such a mess in the first place. But then again, he’d genuinely never expected it to come up – how was he supposed to know the fucked up things his ‘family’ had planned for him?

“Don’t think there’s anything else to tell.” Sanji mumbled, taking another drag.

“…If you say so.”

Sanji felt the doubt in Zoro’s words, tried to ignore it. Closed his eyes and blew the smoke into the air slowly. It wasn’t such a big deal. Everything had worked out fine, hadn’t it? And, besides…

“Not like you tell me anything.” Sanji grumbled, bitter that it was just him being pushed for such things. If it mattered that much to Zoro, he could spill some secrets himself.

Everything was quiet as he felt Zoro shift against him, probably as uncomfortable with the prodding as he himself had been. Ha, served him right. If he thought he could just demand that infor—

“So, back where I grew up there was this girl named Kuina.”

Sanji’s eyes snapped open as he turned his head to look at Zoro. Surprised by his quick and honest response to the dig. He wasn’t sure if he was actually ready to know these things, wasn’t sure if he would be prepared to divulge his own details afterwards. If this was going to be a give and take, it’d be his turn afterwards, right? 

Zoro didn’t stop talking even as Sanji bristled in his arms, the swordsman’s eyes closed as he reminisced over everything. Sanji’s cigarette was forgotten as he listened intently despite himself, feeling a pain in his chest when Zoro had finished.

“…and that’s when we met you.” Zoro’s eyes opened then, looking at Sanji like he was the best thing that Zoro had ever seen. Sanji felt his entire face heat at that gaze, his fingertips trembling as the butt of his cigarette slipped out of his fingers and fell to the floor.

“R-Right!” Nerves shaking through him, Sanji grabbed Zoro’s arms from around his waist and pulled them away. He heard Zoro grunt in displeasure as he took a few steps forward, running a hand through his hair. It was a lot to take in at once even without that look; Sanji wasn’t sure how to respond to any of it.

This time the swordsman just hung back behind him, not making a move to touch him again or press him further. The respect for his personal space and feelings was nice but the silence that now lingered between them wasn’t.

Sanji felt pressure to respond in kind, though he didn’t really want to. Felt pressured to say something back to acknowledge what Zoro had just told him. The problem was that he couldn’t find the words.

Sensing his discomfort as always, Zoro broke the silence.

“It doesn’t have to be right now. You can just tell me someday.”

Sanji turned back to face him, cautious but grateful. Zoro was frowning a little, his right arm resting on the hilt of his white sword – Wadou Ichimonji, as Sanji had just learnt – in the way he usually did to calm himself. Sanji had known that trait for a long time but now also understood the significance of it. How it was comforting, helped the swordsman to ground himself.

In a way Sanji was jealous: he didn’t have anything like that. Had never managed to keep anything long enough to form such an attachment.

Zoro’s eyes met his. For a moment Sanji felt like rushing into his arms but held himself back. There was no point using a human for solace like that – he never knew when it would end and he’d be back at square one all over again. Better to avoid that kind of pain than dive head-first into it.

The swordsman’s frown deepened, as if he could hear Sanji’s thoughts aloud. Sanji swallowed and averted his gaze, fiddling with his lighter.

“I should.. go prepare for lunch.” Sanji shoved it back into his pocket as he tried to walk past Zoro towards the galley. Zoro grabbed onto his arm as he passed, yanking him backwards. The cook was forced to look back at him in surprise, almost yelling at him. “Wh-What!”

Zoro stared at his face closely, causing Sanji to feel oddly naked somehow. As though he were being seen through rather than just seen. It was unnerving. The swordsman sighed and let go, reaching up to scratch at the back of his own head yet again. Like he had something else he wanted to say but didn’t know if he should.

“…If you look at me like that, I’m gonna have to do something about it.” Zoro muttered, more to himself than to the cook. Sanji felt himself go red again but didn’t comment, awkwardly turning away again. What look exactly had he been giving? Zoro’s arm circled his waist, loosely this time. He spoke clearly this time, making sure Sanji could hear. “You don’t have to hold back with me, you know. I’m not going anywhere.”

Sanji hesitated, the urge to express his thoughts strong but the knowledge it wouldn’t be taken well holding him back.

“…I know that.” Sanji knew his tone wasn’t convincing, knew Zoro wouldn’t believe him. He wouldn’t have believed it either.

Zoro sighed behind him, squeezing Sanji’s side with his palm before letting his arm drop.

“Take your time; you’ll believe it eventually.” Exasperated but not angry. Sanji wanted to see Zoro’s face – what expression did he have right now? – but before he could turn, Zoro’s hand pushed him between his shoulder blades, sending him stumbling forward slightly. “Go make lunch. I’m hungry.”

When Sanji turned his head, Zoro was facing away. Giving him space, letting him leave. Appearing patient though Sanji expected he felt anything but.

Gaze lingering only a few seconds longer, Sanji sighed to himself as he started walking away. Perhaps Zoro was right; perhaps it was something that was only a matter of time. He wasn’t sure but he wanted to believe in that. Wanted something to call his own, that would stay by his side.

Maybe if it ever came to pass, he’d be able to open up too; share his own past and vulnerabilities without hesitation. For now it was a long way off, but someday…

Someday he’d share with Zoro as much as the swordsman had shared with him. Respond to him – to his feelings – on the same level.

At least, he hoped so.


End file.
